Though not exactly a travel story, I hope it will inspire you by showing the path I took to get the life I have now. To be completely honest, I spent a lot of the free time I had at my jobs developing a career as both a web designer and a tour guide, but I digress.

I know many of you are familiar with my current employment scenario as a tour guide, but it wasn’t all fun and games before now. There were the five years I did temp work straight out of college because I was never able to give up having summers off. There were the dot com days when I had to take breaks from my work to walk along the San Francisco waterfront, play a game of foosball, or take a nap in one of the sleeping rooms provided.

The truth is I’ve never really worked. There is a trick to it, and anyone can do it. Get yourself employed at a company with very low expectations and lack of motivation, say an insurance company or any government regulated business. These are environments that tend to be conservative and hate to move quickly, so really anything you do is appreciated.

The goal is to appear an overachiever by surrounding yourself with lazy, incompetent people. Not only does it reduce work related stress, it heightens your self-esteem as people are constantly impressed with what you can do in such a short amount of time. Honestly, I almost got fired from a couple of temp jobs because I kept asking what to do next.

The following is easily the least I ever did over the span of two years on a temp assignment. Towards the end, the company I was on assignment to was bought out and they laid off everyone except me. Because I was a temp, and not officially on the books, no one was actually aware I was still being paid, so I just kept going. I mean, this is straight out of the movie Office Space.

So here it is, Tom’s Average Work Day, 2003-2005:

7:45a Pick up Wall Street Journal in the lobby
8:50a Change into work clothes
8:55a Get a cup of hot chocolate in the break room
9:00a Sit at desk, fire up computer, change shoes, unpack backpack
9:05a Check phone messages, e-mail
9:20a Get on internet, check local news, national news
9:45a Check Pathfinder webpage for Mars mission status
10:00a Play a game of solitaire on the computer
10:10a Prepare a list of things to do for the day
10:25a Pay bills, make personal calls, make arrangements for lunch
11:00a Check local news, national news
11:15a Play a game of solitaire on the computer
11:30a Write a letter / Read
12:00p Check local news, national news
12:15p Play a game of solitaire on the computer
12:30p Eat lunch at desk, read paper
1:00p Take walk during actual lunch break
2:00p Check local news, national news
2:15p Play a game of reverse solitaire on the computer
2:30p Check home phone messages
2:35p Read
3:00p Pick up mail (5 pieces)
3:10p Sort mail (toss 3 pieces, sort other two, deliver)
3:20p Surf Net, Check out San Francisco web cams
4:00p Walk around, talk to people
4:30p Check local news, national news
4:40p Play a game of solitaire on the computer
4:55p Shut down computer
5:00p Lock up, change clothes, go home