I arrived in Bangkok last Sunday and almost immediately experienced the loneliness of staying in an apartment by myself. A good part of that stemmed from having not spent enough time with my good friends this summer. It’s true that as you get older, your relationships seem to be the most important thing you look back on, but the other part stemmed from having no one to interact with all day.

Stay in a hostel

Before traveling with Joan the past two years, I stayed in hostels. They really are the best places to stay for a variety of reasons, so even if you’re thinking to yourself, “no way!”, give me a chance to convince you. For one, most hostels have private rooms, so if you’re afraid of someone’s snoring keeping you up all night or worried about the security of your belongings, you can always book a private room. Several of them even have their own bathroom. Whatever the cost in personal space, it will be compensated for in personal interaction!

Hostels are always filled with other people. That means that all you have to do if you’re feeling lonely is to step into the common room and strike up a conversation. Who knows, maybe someone will share a meal they’re preparing from their own country, but the best thing that is shared in hostels are people’s stories.

Not only can you ask others their recommendations for what to do, you can also ask them how they got from place to place and where they stayed. A few times I’ve even joined up with others and traveled together for a little. The best thing about people you meet in hostels is that they are just like you!

One of the hardest things for me before I started my nomadic lifestyle was getting advice on how to do it. My dad has always given me good work advice, but there’s very little he knows about a nomadic lifestyle. I found this to be true of my friends at home as well. Most of them liked traveling, but none had given up everything for a life on the road.

Upgrade on occasion

Two years ago, I met Joan, and she happily packed up everything to join me for a four month trip to Asia. She didn’t really have any experience with it, but she was open to it, and that’s all it really takes. Another nice thing that came from traveling with a partner is that I could stay in better accommodations for about the same price as a hostel since we split expenses.

When I headed out on my own this winter, I retained the same travel style by booking an AirBnB apartment for a month in Bangkok. It only cost me $650 for a modern downtown highrise with a rooftop pool. Now, you’ve probably lost your sympathy for me and my loneliness, but swimming in a pool by yourself isn’t that much fun. I’ll be honest though, it’s delightful at the end of a long day of walking around in 85 degree heat with 100% humidity!

While I do plan to book a hostel for my next destination, I’m going to keep in mind that a little luxury now and then should be had. So what can you do when you find yourself in my position? I remembered how I socialized at home and looked up local Meetup groups.

Join social groups

As it turns out, there are several active Meetup groups in Bangkok, and I signed up for about six of them. There are several social groups, a few for language exchange, and even one for cycling. I filled my calendar with events and headed out to a games event on my second night here.

As much as for the event, I also went for the venue. It was held at the Foreign Correspondents Club of Bangkok. It sounded like something out of a movie, and I had to check it out. In fact, it was on the penthouse floor in the Siam center district, and as I walked the hallway towards the club, I passed signs for ABC, CNN, and the BBC.

The space consists of two rooms: a bar and a meeting space. The bar appeared to be the perfect place to socialize with other foreigners about all things Bangkok, and I did immediately meet three people while enjoying a cocktail and a spicy Thai noodle dish. The menu had hamburgers and pasta, but I really was in the mood for something a little healthier. I’m sure I’ll be back for American indulgences later.

The meeting space was filled with tables, and as people filtered in, they grabbed a game they wanted to play and then began to solicit other players. It was clear that board games had changed a lot since I played them as a kid since I didn’t recognize but one of them. They had names like Avalon, Coup, and Exploding Kittens. My fear was that I’d just immersed myself in a room full of Settlers of Catan fanatics. It turned out to be okay as most of the games were just modern board games and not the role playing type.

I hovered over a table to try to understand one, but they were short a player and basically forced me to join them, noting that three of the other people at the table had never played the game either. I actually picked the game up fairly quickly and played three rounds before moving on to the foosball table, a game that required no explanation.

The problem with the Meetup groups for me is that they are filled with expats, and while yes, these people living their lives abroad, for the most part, they are living the same lives as people back home: commuting to work every day, going out for drinks afterwards, and hitting up the weekend parties. That wasn’t my scene back home, and it certainly isn’t my scene here. After having too many familiar conversations, I headed home.

Go on tours

I was determined to meet people here that knew more about Bangkok than I did. The expats didn’t seem to roam too far outside their routine, and Thai people here are even worse. At another Meetup event I attended, an American couple asked a local Thai girl to recommend local places that Thai people go. I chuckled to myself when she began to list the most popular shopping malls in Bangkok. I knew what the couple was after, but in truth, the local had described exactly what Thai people do on their weekends. While it would have been an authentic experience, it wasn’t the off the beaten path that some tourists look for.

I had run into this challenge myself and began looking through different local tour providers sites like Showaround and Getyourguide, but I ended up choosing a couple AirBnB experiences because I’d had good results with these in the past. I was also hoping that by connecting with a local who was leading tours, I might make some contacts for bringing future groups to Thailand.

The two tours I picked were a bicycle tour of Bangkok’s west side, an area I had not explored much, and Canal boat tour of floating markets. The guides were very different. Wat really knew his way around the west side and navigated us through alleys on a 6 hour bicycle tour of Bangkok.

We made several stops to try unique food, and he explained the origins of everything we tried. One surprise was that before the arrival of the Portuguese, Thai people did not use chili peppers. The Portuguese introduced this south American pepper to Thailand in 1511 so it is them that you can blame if you can’t stomach Thailand’s spicy cuisine.

Vicky’s food tour was almost the opposite. The first four courses were desserts, and even I got tired of the sweets before she finally put me in front of a plate of Pad Kee Mao. Because I was the only one on that tour, I got to ask her all my questions about Thai people and culture. Unfortunately, that also meant I didn’t get to connect with any other travelers.

On the food tour I met couples traveling from Belgium and San Francisco as well as a Saeed from UAE. He and I hit it off right away, not just because I had been to the UAE, but because we were both obsessed with maximizing our Google maps by creating lists that could be viewed on our maps at a glance. For instance, once created, you can turn on the list to show you all the coffee shops in a certain area. This is a great tool to help guide you on your exploration of a city.

Saeed and I exchanged contact info and chatted several times after the tour. He even invited me to dinner the next time I visit the UAE. This was the experience I had been looking for. Exploring a place with other explorers. The guides and the participants were the people I’d been hoping for to bring new life to a city I thought I already knew.

Now I had a solution to my boredom. Not only do tours get you out to explore something new, but they give you an opportunity to see something old in a new way through the eyes of others. While I’ve enjoyed our brief interactions on tours, the friends I’ve made always inspire me to do more and teach me new ways to experience the world. In some cases, I’ve even met up with them again. But at the very least, I never have to explain my lifestyle to them.