Phuket, Pataya, and Hua Hin

All of the above are party towns dominated by overage men looking for barely legal women to keep them company. Phuket, in particular, felt like a Las Vegas run by Russian mobsters, and I left after one night. Pataya is not much different, and Hua Hin is a smaller scale version of the other two. All three offer crowded low quality beaches with giant hotels marring the paradise that once drew people to these destinations.

From Pataya, you can escape the crowds by heading to Ko Lan island. It can get crowded during midday but quiets down after all the tourists have returned to the mainland in the late afternoon. There is a nice small village at the boat landing with plenty of good restaurants and accommodations.

From Hua Hin, visit the Phraya Nakhon Cave, which is a large cave with an opening in the top that allows sunlight to illuminate the Buddhist shrine inside. The surrounding national park is filled with caves you can visit, and the trip along the coast offers many peaceful beaches.

Phi Phi Island

From Phuket, you can take a ferry to Phi Phi Island. It is a party destination as well, only for barely legal westerners to get drunk and have sex on the beach. It’s hard to spend the night anywhere near the main village without being kept up until 4am by blaring music from the beach bars.

Two things you can do on Phi Phi besides party are a boat excursion to Ko Phi Phi Lee and a hike across the island. The boat excursion takes you to the film location for the movie the Beach, some mediocre snorkeling, and if you’ve booked the afternoon cruise, you can see the glowing plankton.

You’ll see signs for “viewpoint” throughout the main village on Phi Phi. Follow these up to viewpoint 1 which gives you a decent overview of the island, but if you really want to get your money’s worth (since there is an entrance fee to both viewpoints), continue up to viewpoint 2. From the effort it takes to get there, you’ll know the view is going to be good. There is food and coffee offered at the second viewpoint so know that you can relax once you’ve made it to the top.

I recommend doing this early in the morning, both to avoid the crowds and the heat. From the top, you can head back down to the village, or you can continue on to the other side of the island. This is where the adults stay, and you can find some magnificent beaches here for snorkeling or sunbathing. There is also a quiet village on the other side offering good restaurants and bars.

Ao Nang, Railay, and Tonsai

Ao Nang is a good base for everything you want to do on the Phang Nga bay. The town itself has a healthy selection of western restaurants and shops selling anything you’ll need for a visit to the beach. Stay as close to the beach as possible to avoid constantly paying for transportation back and forth.

The beach at Ao Nang center is barely usable with sewage infused water flowing out a pipe at the end of the main street. Your best bet is to head to the north end of town to the Nopparat Thara Pier. You can catch a local songtau to get there or rent a motorbike for the day.

Another thing you’ll want to do from Ao Nong is to take the long tail boat to Railay beach. Tickets are sold at the booth at the end of the street. From there you cross to the boat ramp, and you’ll be directed to take a seat until there are enough people to fill the longtail. During the day this is usually 8 people, and the wait is fairly short.

Railay is a karst wonderland with giant rocks dramatically thrusting into the air from the water. You can seek out a spot of shade under a palm tree, if you’re early enough, or if you’re more of an adventurer, you can head off across the peninsula to explore caves and a hidden lagoon.

The walk to the cave is flat and provides you with an unexpected experience at the end: a cave full of dildos of all sizes. At low tide, you can continue on past the cave and scramble through opening in the rock wall until you get to the other side.

According to my electronic map, there is supposedly a trail from the north end of this beach to the beach where you landed with the longtail, but the part I’ve done required rock scrambles and scaling a bamboo ladder anchored to a cliff.

There is another trail that leads north out of Railay town. It heads into the jungle up a somewhat challenging hill, if only because of the hot temperatures and humidity. The reward at the other end is the village of Tonsai beach. It is filled with westerners living like natives in tree houses and shacks with few amenities. That’s made up for with ample bars and eateries, but they are also built in the Robinson Crusoe style.

When you arrive at the beach, you can flag down a longtail boat to take you back to Ao Nang or, if you’ve timed your hike to coincide with low tide, you can walk to Railay through the shallow water. This is recommended as it’s easier and cheaper to catch a longtail from Railay.

When you purchase your ticket in the morning, you can opt for round trip or one way. If you think you’ll be returning after 5, opt for the one way as it’s cheaper to buy your return ticket from Railay after 5pm.

Phang Nga bay

Similar to Halong Bay in Vietnam and Coron in the Philippines, Phang Nga bay is a stunning karst studded body of water about an hour and a half from either Ao Nang or Phuket. Trips can be booked here to see the famous James Bond island. I can’t believe they’re still capitalizing on a movie that was filmed 40 years ago, but when you consider the demographic of visitors to Thailand, there are plenty who saw that movie in their teen years.

The other thing you’ll want to include in your tour is a visit to the Muslim island, especially if it includes lunch there. I have written about getting to the Phang Nga bay by land, but it’s not really worth the effort unless you are planning to take the bus between Phuket and Ao Nang.

Krabi

Krabi is another day trip possible from Ao Nang and the port you will use if transferring to the southern Thai islands. Krabi is more of a port town on the Pak Nam river, and there is no beach so generally I wouldn’t recommend visiting for more than a half day. What I do like about Krabi is it’s a nice way to get away from the tourists that flock Ao Nang. There is also a night market once a week.

Cheap buses run between Ao Nang and Krabi. Krabi is the local transit hub with an airport serving destinations throughout SE Asia and bus connections to the east Thai peninsula or Malaysia. This is also your port for heading south to Ko Lanta.

Ko Lanta

Ko Lanta is a big island with plenty of things to keep you busy. I would allow for 3-7 days here. Because of its size, I highly recommend renting a scooter to get around. A night at Saladan Pier provides you with a fun opportunity to stay at Peacock hostel on the wharf, where you can nap in a cargo net over the water. The hostel is just a couple minutes walk from the ferry terminal, and there is also a night food market nearby.

Ko Mook

Ko Mook was probably my favorite island experience in Thailand because there is almost nothing to do but kick back and relax during your stay here. There is no night life and no souvenir hawkers. It is just a tranquil island on which to do nothing properly.

If you’re like me, and find it impossible to do nothing, there is a jungle trek you can do to a remote beach on the northwest corner of the island. Boat tours also go to the beach so it’s not necessary to hike there, but it does give you an opportunity to get away from people and spend as much time as you like on the beach. If you time your return with low tide, you can skip retracing the jungle hike and walk along the wide open exposed shoreline, watching the locals gathering clams as dusk.

Similarly, you can hike around the southern tip of the island to get to Charlie Beach. Bring proper sandals to do this as the rocks are extremely sharp and will shred your bare feet or flip flops. There is a more direct route to the beach over the hill that takes about 20 minutes.

There are a couple of cool chill out bars on the beach, particularly the south end. If you’re not the chilling out type, rent a kayak for a couple hours and paddle to the Emerald cave. Be sure to time it so the tide is low enough for you to paddle into the cave, and consider bringing a light as it is pitch dark at one point during your entry to the cave. The beach fits my image exactly of the one in the book The Beach. Surrounded on all sides by a steep 500 foot cliff, there is no access except through the cave waterway.

If you have more time, you can continue on to the remote beach or head back to Charlie beach.

A couple days here is usually plenty unless you really enjoy doing nothing. You can also make the trip to the even more remote Ko Kradan island or continue on south for your island hopping journey to Ko Lipe.

Though there are other islands between Ko Mook and Ko Lipe , they either sport only luxury accommodations or no accommodations at all.

Ko Lipe

This is the southernmost Thai island. It’s not overwhelmed with tourists, but it does have a generous share of them. There is a nice walking street filled with bars, restaurants and shops and a variety of accommodations from high end hostels to luxury villas. There are several beaches, the most popular being Bundhaya beach.

I recommend instead, heading to the north end of the island where there are very few people until afternoon. There are many trees to provide shade, and the water presents a natural lap pool because it is always flowing through the narrow channel between the two islands.

Alternatively, you can head to one of my secret beaches by walking the length of the island.

From Ko Lipe, you can head by ferry to the Malaysian island of Langkawi. Many people use this trip to reset the clock on their Thai visa. Though everything I read stated you can only get a 15 day Thai visa when arriving by ferry, I was issued a 30 day Thai visa on my return.